Jokes

Pappu Nd Santa In A Football Stadium..

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Pappu Nd Santa In A Football Stadium..
Pappu – : Paji,
Ye Log Ball Se Kya Kr Rhe Hai?
Santa : Goal Kr Rhe Hain!!!
Pappu – :”Lekin Paji,
Ball To Pehle Se Gol Hai ,
Or Kitni Gol Krenge?”

Ek Ladki,

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Ek Ladki,

ek din Art Gallery dekhne Jati Hai

Aur

Ek Tasveer Dekhkar,

Gallery Ke Malik Se Kahti Hai:

Ladki : iss Bhayanak Tasveer Ko Aap Modern Art Kehte Ho !?

Maalik : Meri Maa

Tu Dimag Mat Laga,

Ghar Jaa,

Ye Aaina ( mirror ) Hai.

Jab Koi Sms Ni Krta.

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Jab Koi Sms Ni Krta.
Itna Gussa Ata H.
Dil To Chahta H,
.
.
.
Chapal Utar K
.
.
.
Aram Se Baith Jau Or
Sochu Sayad Bhejna Nhi Ata Hoga.

Neela daant…

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One: Oye tera ek daant neela kyun ho gaya?

Two: Yaar maine ink lagayi hai.

One: Woh kyun.?

Two: Kyun ke aaj kal “bluetooth” ka zamana hai yaar…

Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh

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Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet : “What are you searching for?”

Santa : “Hidden camera!”

Jasmeet : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?”

U Study for 3 hrs no one sees u

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At home:
U Study for 3 hrs no one sees u..
Wen u pick up d mobile for a sec
mom/dad enters d room n say “bilkul padai ni karte”
in hostel:
Have mob for 3 hrs no 1 sees u..
pick up d book for a sec
Friends enter the room and says “Kitna padega Einstein ki aulad…pagal ho jayega..”

College Life:

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College Life:
Means… 8 frnds, 1 bike but no
petrol…
.
Means… Exam night, 6 dufers &no
notes…!
.
Means… Sitting on sea view, 6
smokerz & 1
cigarette…!
.
Means… Principal call for insult, 6
gangster & all
r saying pehle tu ja pehle tu ja…!
.
Means…1 girl, 6 frnds & all r
saying, teri bhabhi
teri bhabhi…!
.
Means.!
Everything stupid but sumthing
sensible Like friendship… :))
♥ UMA♥

Husband Marte Waqt Biwi Se

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Husband Marte Waqt Biwi Se:”Almari Se Tera Gold Set Maine Chori Kia Tha.!!
.
Biwi Rote Hue:”Koi Baat Nai Ji
.
Husband:”Tere Bhai Ne Tujhe Amant Di Thi 1 Lakh Wo B Maine Ghayb Kiya.!
.
Biwi:”Mene Aapko Maaf Kiya.!
.
Husband:”Teri Kameti K Paise Bhi Mene Hi Chori Kiye The!
.
Biwi:”Koi Baat Nai Ji, Appko ZAHER Bhi Maine Hi Diya Hai..

American :- ye Kutuß Minarkitne din main bana hai ?

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American :- ye Kutuß Minarkitne din main bana hai ?
Indian :- 1 mahine main
…
American :- yeh hamare mulk mEin
to 2 weeks mein ban jati hai….
Thoda aage jane k baad phir poocha: Yeh Lal kila kitne din
main
bana hai?
Indian :- Sirf 2 weeks main
American :- hamare Mulk mein to 3
days mein ban jati hai…
Taj Mahal k paas se guzre toh american
ne pucha :-
Yeh Taj Mahal kitne din
mein bani hai ?
..
.,..
.
Indian :- Pataa nahi Kal shaam ko
to Nahin tha…..

Hello , Pizza Hut?

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Bhikari:
Hello , Pizza Hut?

Pizza Hut:
Yes Sir

Bhikari:
1 Large Pizza Or 1 Litre Pepsi Bhej Do

Pizza Hut:
Sir Kis Ke Naam Se Bhejoon?

Bhikari:
Allah Ke Naam Pe Dede Baba!

Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.

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Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !

Two Women were chatting in office..

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Two Women were chatting in office..

Woman 1:”I had a fine evening, how was yours.. ??

Woman 2:”It was a disaster.. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes and fell a sleep.. How was yours.. ??

Woman 1:”Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner.. After dinner we walked for an hour.. When we came home he lit the candles around the house..It was like a fairy tale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work..

Husband 1:”How was your evening.. ??

My Sweet Wife

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Shaadi K Pehle Din Husband K Mobile Me
Wife Ka Naam
My Sweet Wife
3 Month ßaad
My Wife
6 Month ßaad
Home
1 Year ßaad
Unknown No.
2 Year ßaad
Wrong No

Tamatar Khao

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Beggar: Kuch khaane ko do!

Pandit: Tamatar Khao

Beggar: Roti do baba

Pandit: Tamatar Khao

Beggar: Tamatar hi khila do

Pandit’s Wife: Ye Totla bolte he, Keh rahe he KAMAKAR KHAO !

Khusi ke mare pagal hoon

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Husband: Sir, meri wife gumm ho gayi hai.

Postmaster: Bhai yeh postoffice hai. Ja ke policestation mein complaint likhao.

Husband: Kya karun…, khushi ke mare kuch samaj hi nahi aa raha…

Dost ki Kabar

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Ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par phool daal raha hota hai.

Aur samne wale kabar mein bhi, ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par chawal daal raha hota hai.

Pehla aadmi doosre se kehta hai, “Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab uthega?”

Doosra aadmi, “Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga.”