Jokes

The Indian government truly cares for the health of its citizens.

The petrol price hike ensures that more Indians will now start walking to their destinations!

Teacher: It’s clear that you haven’t studied your geography lessons. What’s your excuse?

Pappu: Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!

Boy: “Ro kyu rahi ho..?

Girl: “Mere marks bahot kam aaye hai..

Boy: “Batao kitne aaye hai..?

Girl: “Sirf 88 % …
.
.
.
.
.
.

Boy “Khuda ka khauf karo…..itne mein to 2 ladke pass ho jate hain….”

Santa enters a store that sells curtains.

He tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.”

He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.

Santa replies, “Fifteen inches.”

“Fifteen inches?” asked the salesman. “That sounds very small, what room are they for?”

Santa tells him that they aren’t for a room, they are for his computer monitor.

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away, sardar ran to catch the donkey.

He saw a zebra and started beating it and said, ‘Sala tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’.

Biwi: “Aap ne pichle saal meri birthday pe mujhe lohay ka bed banwa ke diya tha, Iss dafa aapka kya iraada hai?”

Shohar: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”

Sardar : O banno car ki speed itni kyon badha di?

Banno : Oji car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain….!

Pathan ko dost ne khanay pe bulaya.
Pathan jab dost ke ghar aaya toh ghar pe tala laga tha,
Aur likha tha maine bewaqoof banaya tumko.

There is nothing more
Expensive than a
female tear … –
.
.
. .
.
.When a single drop
comes out, it first mixes with “Loreal”
eyeliner and “Dior”
mascara [xP] .
Then when it Comes
down to cheek and mixes with D&G
Blusher
And in case it touched
the lips, it gets mixed with “Maybelline”
lipstick This Means That A
Single Drop Is Worth
Atlest usd1550 hahahahaha♥

Police Constable To Son :

“Stupid, Why Did U Get Very Low Marks in All
Subjects?
.
.
. Son: “Keep This $5 & Close This Matter.!! lolz

which country could that be?

A guy in plane stood up n shouted “HIJACK!”

All passengers got scared n raised their Hands
.
.
.
.
from other end Of the plane a guy shouted back . .
.
.
.
“Hi JOHN”…….. >:)

student[shoking]-miss jaldi police ko phone kro jaldi
miss[shoked]-par kyon kya hua????
student – vo meri pencil kho gai hai report likhwani hai

A Horror Story Read Must :))
Ek aadmi apni car se mumbai
se pune ja rha tha usne main
highway chor kar ek shortcut
rasta choose kiya taki jaldi
pahuch jaye phir wo drive
karne lgaa and 9 K.M travel
kar liya..
.
achanak se uske car band ho
gyi..:O
ab wo fas gya.. wo car s utra
aur usne socha k kisi car se lift
le lunga..

achanak se tez hawa chalne
lagi aur barish shuru ho gyi..
phir wo chalne laga.. hawa
aur tez ho gyi..barish aur badh
gyi..
wo poora bheeg gya..kapne
laga thand se..:O

barish itni tez thi k use door k
cheeje dikhna band ho gyi.. :O

After 15 years of marriage a wife asked her husband to describe her..
.
.
He looked at her slowly and then said: “A-B-C-D-E-F-
G-H-I-J-K”
.
.
.
“What does that mean ??”
she asked..

“Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
Fashionable, Gorgeous, and Hot”
he replied..

She smiled happily and then asked,
“What about I-J-K ??
” He replied, “I’m Just Kidding!” :p 😀

Hahahaha :p

Class Room Is Like A Train
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
1st Two Benches R ReservedFor VIP
.
.
Next Two Benches R General Coach
.
.
.
Then Last Two Benches R Very Demanded.
.
.
.
.
.
Bcz Its.”SLEEPER COACH..:p :O 😀 😀

SOME CRAZY FACTS

SCHOOL: A place where
Papa pays and Son plays.

STUDENT: someone
who knows little of
everything.

PROFESSOR: someone
that knows a lot about
soooo little

LECTURE: An art of
transferring
information from the
notes of the Lecturer to the
notes of the
students without passing through
“the minds of either”

LIFE INSURANCE: A
contract that keeps you poor all
your life so.
that you can die Rich.

NURSE: A person who
wakes u up to give you
sleeping pills.

MARRIAGE: It’s an
agreement in which a
man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman

The class teacher asks students to name an
animal that begins with an E.
One boy says: “Elephant.”
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins
with a T.
The same boys says: “Two elephants.” The teacher sends the boy out of the class for
bad behaviuor. After that she asks for an animal
beginning with M.
The boy shouts from the other side of the door:
“Maybe an elephant!”

3 guys were throwing stones to bring a mango
down from a tree.One of them suggested, “Maybe it is not ripe,why don’t we confirm first?” So one of them climbed the tree & went to touch it 2
make sure it was ripe.., “Yep,it is ripe alright!” So he climbed down & they continued throwing
stones at it…with much more effort this time…

Ek dukhi pati apni patni se bola :

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mei khayal aata hai,

Ke zindagi teri zulfoon ki ghani chhaon me kat jaye.

Toh

‘Home Loan’ lene ki zarorat hi na pade….

Teacher-papu Ek Story Sunao Withmoral 🙂
.
Papu-maine Usko Phone Kiya Wo So Rahi Thi.
.
Phir Usne Mujhe Phone Kiya Main So Raha Tha.
.
Moral- Jaisi Karni Wsi Bharni.

One day a lady came in running into police station where santa singh was police inspector… And she said praji..praji gajab ho gaya
Santa singh asked bhenji ki ho gaya The lady replied mere pati 6 din pehle gobi ki sabji lene bazaar gaye the, aur abhi tak woh nahi laute hain
On that santa singh replied koi gal nahin bhenji, tusi aur koi sabji bana lo.

Santa Singh wanted to lose weight desperately and so he consulted a doctor. The doctor told him that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would lose 34 kilos.
Santa followed the doctors advice and at the end of 300 days, he called the doctor to report that he had actually lost the weight, but had a problem. Whats the problem, asked the doctor?
I am 2400 kilometers away from home.

Husband : Why did you give so much money to the beggar who was pretending to be blind?

Wife : Didn’t you hear his good words to me?

Husband : No, what did he say?

Wife : He said that I was so kind, so pretty and so young.

Husband : Oh, I see. He’s really blind.

Bus Accident
Man Crying: Mera hath kat gaya.
Bahut dard ho raha hai.
Santa: Abey chup baith.
Wo dekh uska gala kat gaya,
Fir bhi chup-chaap pada hai..!!

Khud ko karo kanjoos itna,
ki har sms bhejne se pahle,
service center wale call kr ke khud puchhe..

Sir ji
Ru sure?
bhejna hai,
ki sending fail kr du?