Jokes

1st catch it alive then tie the legs then do gud gudi in stomach, and when it laughs catch its mouth and pour a spoon of poison finish.

A police officer drove through a school zone within the speed limit when a radar camera took a picture of his licence plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even slowly. Another flash. He did it again for the third time, at an even slower speed with the same result.

He thought: “This guy must have messed up the settings.” Weeks later he received three traffic tickets, each for not wearing a seat belt!

Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai.

Businessman explaining the reason for having 2 wives
“Monopoly is always damaging
&
Competition improves service”.

Love is possible after friendship
but friendship is not possible after love
because
medicines work before death later nothing can be cured….!!!

A LOVE STORY : Lux and Rexona are lovers,
lived in 501 apartment in Ariel street.
Lux’s father Cinthol,
mother Hamam opposed their marriage.
They fixed his marriage with Pears.
But Rexona’s father Lifebouy and mother Santoor decided Lux
and Rexona’s marriage
in registrars office. Rexona’s uncle Rin,
aunty Nirma signed
as witness.
1 year later Rexona
gave birth to twins
They named babies
Johnson and Johnson
I reminded all soap names
Take bath atleast today

Dilbert’s “Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people.”

This theorem can now be supported by mathematical proof based on the following two postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time.

Since Knowledge = Power, then Knowledge =Work / Time.

Since Time = Money, then Knowledge =Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get Money =Work / Knowledge.

Ha
HaHa
HaHaHa
HaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHaHaHa
Nothing, I suddenly remembered Your Face
Oh my God..
Very funny creation
🙂 🙂

Santa – Sir Hun Meri Salary Wada
Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi

Amitabh: Mere paas Gaadi hai, Bangalow hai, Bank Balance hai, tumhare paas kya hai?
Shashi: Mere paas bhi Gaadi hai, Bungalow hai, Bank Balance hai…
Silence for few Minutes…
Amitabh: Abey to phir Maa kahan hai?

Laloo: 2 his P.A.: Itne khilari kyun football ko laat mar rahe hai?
P.A.: Goal kar ne k liye.
Laloo: Susra, Ball to pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge

Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped – paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long…..!

Teacher : U failure !

At ur age Bill gates stood first in the class

Student : Mind u, Sir,

but at ur age hitler commited suicide

a girl’s speaking 2 a boy……..
u r very handsome.
u r very cute.
u r very sweet.
ooph…….sorry.
i can’t call u sweet….
because ants will finish u.

Aik Pagal: “Mujhe Katrina ne shadi k lye haan bol di hai”

Doosra: “Dikha di na usne apni auqat.
Main bhi itni asani se tallaaq nahi dunga.”

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.