Jokes

Auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho??

Lady Doctor: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?

Santa: Ji, aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am .

Ladkon Pe Zulm

When a girl cries “whole world consoles her”
But wen a boy cries “people say cum on man, don’t b like a girl”

If a girl slaps a boy “boy has done d mistake”.
Bt if a boy slaps a girl “rascal does not knw hw 2 respect ladies”.

If a boy talks 2 a girl “he is flirting”
Bt if girl is talking 2 boy”she is very frndly”

Kya LADKO k khilaf is desh me aisa hi zulm hote rahenge
.
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Janne k liya dekhiye “Na aana is des mere munna”

Coming Soon

I had a dream of u

Last night
I had a dream of u.
U were traveling in bus!
Suddenly the bus lost control n fell in the river.
Every1 swam 2 save their life,
but u were still swiming n searching 4 som1.
1 person asked u whom u r searching 4?

U said

Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya,

2 rupaye lene they….. 😉

Q1. Prasad ask’s Kumble to bring a pepsi… Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? 🙂

Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener

Q2. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie ‘heart is umbrella’. Which
movie did he really want to see?

Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai!

Q3. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?

Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

Q4. What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho……………

Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

Amithab: if you tell the correct answer of 15th question; you will become a crorepati.
Santa: oh! Then you ask the 15th question directly now.

Kanjoos ki biwi bimaar thi,
Light gayi to candle jala di
aur bola
“Doctor lene ja raha hu,
agar lage ki tum nahi bachogi,
to candle bujha dena

Womenz Day Par Aik Larki Ne Pathan Se Kaha

“Apko Pata Hai Aj Womens Day Hai?”

Pathan Ne Ghabra K Kaha:

“Kamaal Hai, Jb Hum Ghar SeNikla Tha

Tab Tu Tuesday Tha.

Teacher:Give English
Translation Of,
.
.
.
“Bazaar Main Goliyan Chal Rahi Hai”
.
.
.
Chaman Replies:
The Tablets Are Walking
In The Market.

Aman: What Do You Want To Become In Your Next Life ?

Chaman: A Cockroach.

Aman: Why?

Chaman: Because Meri Wife Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai.

Girl:How Much You Love Me?

Boy:Like SHAJAHAN

Girl:Then When Will You Build TAJMAHAL?

Boy:Already Purchased Land; Now Waiting For Your Death.

Sardar : what is the name of u r car
lady : i forget name but it starts from ‘T’
Sardar : oye kamaal di gaddi hai ‘tea’ se start hoti hai
aur hamrari ‘petrol’ se !

I was The Most Outstanding Student Of My Class …

Because,

I Always Stand Outside The Class:-)

Proud 2 b an Out-Standing Student.

Banta: I read an article the other day that said, `If you drink everyday you are an alcoholic`.
Santa: Thank God I only drink every night.

Funny But True :

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Boy did mistake,

Girl shouted at him,

Boy said ‘Sorry’

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Girl did mistake,

Boy shouted at her,

Girl started crying,

Boy said ”Sorry”..!!

Best 3 Comedy Lines In Student Life..
1)Please don’t Disturb I Want to Study!
2)No Class,Den Lets Go 2 Library!
&
D Best 1 is:
3)Sir,I Have a Question!!!! 🙂

I want U 2 know dat our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry I cry, U Lauf I Lauf, U Jump out of da window… I look down & den.. I lauf again

3 boys where going on a motor cycle. policeman gives hand to stop sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega…!

Teacher: Sach or Veham mai kiya farq hai ?
Student: Aap jo hamain parha rahi hain wo sach hai, laykin hum sab parh rahay hain ye aapka veham hai……..

Patni- Shaadi K Shuru Me Aap Khana Khud Kam Aur Jyada Muje Khilate The Par Ab Aisa Q Nahi Karte
.
Pati- Q Ki,Ab Tumhe Khana Banane Aa Gaya Hai

Salman khan – kitne % log samajte hai ki meri
aur Katrina ki Shaadi hogi?

Pappu – sirf10%

Salman -why?

Pappu – Kyuki 90% log khud Katrina se Shaadi
karna chahte hai..:

TEACHER-pani me rahana wale 6 jiv jantuo ka nam batao
BOY-mendak
TEACHER- 5 NAM OR BATAO ….
BOY- mendak ki mummy,
mendak ka papa,
mendak ki behan,
mendak ka bhai,
or mendak ki GF…………..

Teacher: I LOVE U
kis ne ijaad kia?

Boy: China ne!

Teacher: wo kese?

Q k Iski,
na koi warranty hy
na koi gurantee.
Chale to chand tak.
Na chale,
To sham tak.

Teacher To KG Kid:
How Many Months Are
There In A Year . . .?

Kid: 12

Teacher: Wow … How
Do You Know … ?

Kid: Baara Mahine Mein
Bara Tareeke Se Tujh Ko
Pyar Jatao’n Ga Re …

DHINKA CHIKA DHINKA CHIKA …

Gusse Ka Aana “Mard” Hone K Nishani
Hai…
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Magar…
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.
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Gusse Ko Pee Jana
“Husband” Hone Ki Nishani
Hai…!!

Customer 2 shopkeeper: Iss mirror ki kya guarantee hai?
Shopkeeper: Aap iss ko 100 floor se nechay girao, mirror 99 floor tak nahi toote ga.
Customer: Wah bahut badhiya, pack kar do!