Jokes

Cricket By Rajnikanth

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Lagaan ending in Rajnikanth style:

Climax : 1 ball 20 runs needed.
Bowler bowls, Rajni hits ball…
Ball splits into 4 pieces go for 6’s. India wins!
Yenna Rascala…. Mind It !!!!!!!!!

Kejriwal Batting Ke Liye Taiyaar Hai, Lekin

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Kejriwal: Main batting ke liye taiyaar hoon, lekin meri kuchh sharte hain

1. Koi tej gendbaaji nahin karega
2. Mera shot koi nahin rokega
3. Koi catch nahin pakadega
4. Koi run-out nahin karega
5. Koi out ki appeal nahin karega
6. Apne out hone na hone ka faisla main khud karunga

Naari Ka Matlab Kya Hai

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Wife : “Naari” Ka Matlab Kya Hai?

Husband : Naari Ka Matlab Hai Shakti.

Wife : To Phir Purush Ka Matlab Kya Hai?

Husband : ‘Sahan Shakti’ ??

Gift For Grandma On Her Birthday

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Sis 2 bro : what r u going to gift grandma on her b’day?

bro : A football 🙂

Sis : but grandma does not play!!

bro : On my b’day she gave me Bhagvad Gita, Uska kya?

Santa Ka Suggestion

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Ek admi khade-khade chaabi se apna kaan khujla raha tha

Santa use gaur se dekhte hue bola-
Bhaisahab, aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka Maaru?

Hamko Ladki Pasand Hai

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Ladke wale: Hamko Ladki Pasand Hai,
Shadi Kab Karni Hai?

Ladki wale: Abhi to Ladki study kar rahi hai,
Ladke wale: Ha to hamara ladka konsa chhota hai jo books faad dega!!

Santa To Bill Gates

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A Question From
Santa To Bill Gates:

Sir,
How Is It That
Your Name Is Gates But
You Are Selling WINDOWS!

Gates Shocked!

Laloo, Jayalalitha, And Mayavati Were In A Air Force Plane.

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Laloo, Jayalalitha, and Mayavati were on a long flight in an Air Force plane.

Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, “I’m going to throw this Rs.100 note out and make someone down below happy.” Jayalalitha, not wanting to be outdone, says, “If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs.50 notes, throw them down and make two people down below happy.”

Of course Mayavati doesn’t want these two candidates to out do her so she pipes in, ‘I would instead take one hundred Rs.1 notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier.

Announcement In A School

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An Announcement in a School

“Students who’ve Parked their cycles in front of the Gate, Please move their cycles to the Parking area!!”

After 30 mins another announcement:

“The 400 students who went to move 10 cycles plz come back to classes!”

Ladies Se Bhari Bus Ka Accident

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Ek Ladies Se Bhari Bus Ka Bada Boori Tarah Se Accident Ho Gaya,
Saari Ladies Mar Gayi..

Sabke Pati Ek-Ek Ghanta Roye,

Santa 2 Ghante Roya,
pata hai Kyun?

Kyunki Uski Wife Se Bus Miss Ho Gayi Thi!

Titanic With Rajnikanth

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Rajnikant’s next project: TITANIC in Tamil

climax revised.

Both survive.

Rajni swims through Atlantic ocean.

Heroine in One hand and

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.

Titanic in other!

Husband Hunting Flies

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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Hunting Flies” He responded.

Oh!, Killed any?” She asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females”,he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone”

Student’s Law Of Tension

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Student’s Law Of Tension..

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Pressure Is Inversely Proportional
To The Number Of Days, Left For the Exams,

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Where ‘KAL SE PADHENGE’
Remains Constant.!

Santa Raised His Bat On 35 Runs

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Santa raised his bat on 35 runs..

Dhoni: “Its not 50 or 100 yet”

Santa-”Tu chup kar Baravi fail.
Only a GRADUATE can understand the importance of passing marks. !!!

Wo TELEPHONE DIARY thi

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1 Sardar library me 3 Ghante 1 Book padhne k Baad bola
SO BORING itne sare characters but no story.
Librarian-
Sardar Ji, wo TELEPHONE DIARY thi.