The true measure of a good Muslim is how good are his or her character and manners, particularly in their relationships with their families. Men are specifically called upon to treat women in the best manner. The honor of a Muslim man is directly proportional to his behavior towards women.
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
خِيَارُكُمْ أَحَاسِنُكُمْ أَخْلَاقًا
The best of you are those with the best character.
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 3366, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
أَكْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا وَخِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ خُلُقًا
The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the most excellent character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women.
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1162, Grade: Sahih
In another narration, the Prophet said:
خَيْرُكُمْ إِسْلَامًا أَحَاسِنُكُمْ أَخْلَاقًا إِذَا فَقُهُوا
The best of you in Islam are those with the best character, if they have understanding.
Source: Musnad Aḥmad 9880, Grade: Sahih
And in another narration, the Prophet said:
شِرَارُ أُمَّتِي الثَّرْثَارُونَ الْمُشَّدِّقُونَ الْمُتَفَيْهِقُونَ وَخِيَارُ أُمَّتِي أَحَاسِنُهُمْ أَخْلاقًا
The most evil in my nation are garrulous, braggarts, and pompous. The best of my nation are those with the best character.
Source: al-Adab al-Mufrad 1308, Grade: Sahih
Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
إِنَّ مِنْ أَكْمَلِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا وَأَلْطَفُهُمْ بِأَهْلِهِ
Verily, the believers with the most complete faith are those with the most excellent character and who are most kind to their families.
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2612, Grade: Sahih
Jabir ibn Samurah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَعَثَنِي بِتَمَامِ مكارمِ الأَخْلاقِ وَكَمَالِ مَحَاسِنِ الأَفْعَالِ
Verily, obscenity and immorality are not part of Islam. Verily, the best people in Islam are those with the best character.
Source: Musnad Aḥmad 20320, Grade: Sahih
Ibn Umar reported: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, which of the believers is best?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا
Those with the best character.
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4259, Grade: Hasan
Good character is among the greatest of good deeds to be placed on the scale of a believer on the Day of Judgment, even more so than an abundance of voluntary acts of worship.
Abu Darda reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
مَا شَيْءٌ أَثْقَلُ فِي مِيزَانِ الْمُؤْمِنِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ مِنْ خُلُقٍ حَسَنٍ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَيُبْغِضُ الْفَاحِشَ الْبَذِيءَ
Nothing is heavier upon the scale of the believer on the Day of Resurrection than his good character. Verily, Allah hates the shameless, obscene person.
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2002, Grade: Sahih
Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
إِنَّ الْمُؤْمِنَ لَيُدْرِكُ بِحُسْنِ خُلُقِهِ دَرَجَةَ الصَّائِمِ الْقَائِمِ
Verily, the believer may reach through his good character the status of one who regularly fasts and prays at night.
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4798, Grade: Sahih
Usamah ibn Shareek reported: I witnessed the bedouins ask the Prophet, saying, “O Messenger of Allah, what is the best thing a servant may be given?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
خُلُقٌ حَسَنٌ
Good character.
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 3436, Grade: Sahih
The Prophet informed us that good character is the leading cause of people entering Paradise. On the contrary, character flaws involving bad speech and sexual immorality are the leading cause of people entering the Hellfire.
Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet was asked, “What enters most people into Paradise?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him said:
تَقْوَى اللَّهِ وَحُسْنُ الْخُلُقِ
Righteousness and good character.
It was asked, “What enters most people into the Hellfire?” The Prophet said:
الْفَمُ وَالْفَرْجُ
The mouth and the private parts.
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2004, Grade: Sahih
Allah and His Messenger love those with good character. Those who cultivated good character and manners will be the closest to the Prophet and the righteous on the Day of Judgment, whereas those who indulged in bad manners will be the furthest from them.
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
أَلَا أُخْبِرُكُمْ بِأَحَبِّكُمْ إِلَيَّ وَأَقْرَبِكُمْ مِنِّي مَجْلِسًا يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ أَحْسَنُكُمْ خُلُقًا
Shall I tell you about the most beloved to me and the closest to my assembly on the Day of Resurrection? Those with the best character.
Source: Musnad Aḥmad 6696, Grade: Sahih
Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
إِنَّ مِنْ أَحَبِّكُمْ إِلَيَّ وَأَقْرَبِكُمْ مِنِّي مَجْلِسًا يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ أَحَاسِنَكُمْ أَخْلَاقًا وَإِنَّ أَبْغَضَكُمْ إِلَيَّ وَأَبْعَدَكُمْ مِنِّي مَجْلِسًا يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ الثَّرْثَارُونَ وَالْمُتَشَدِّقُونَ وَالْمُتَفَيْهِقُونَ
Verily, the most beloved and nearest to my gathering on the Day of Resurrection are those of you with the best character. Verily, the most reprehensible of you to me and the furthest from my gathering on the Day of Resurrection will be the pompous, the extravagant, and the arrogant.
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2018, Grade: Sahih
Sahl ibn Sa’d reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَرِيمٌ يُحِبُّ الْكَرَمَ وَمَعَالِيَ الأَخْلاقِ وَيُبْغِضُ سَفْسَافَهَا
Verily, Allah is generous and he loves generosity and exalted character, and he detests vanity.
Source: Sunan al-Kubrā 19134, Grade: Sahih
For all of these reasons, the Prophet would supplicate for good character and he encouraged us to ask Allah for good character as well.
Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
اللَّهُمَّ أَحْسَنْتَ خَلْقِي فَأَحْسِنْ خُلُقِي
O Allah, you have made my form excellent, so make my character excellent.
Source: Musnad Aḥmad 23871, Grade: Sahih
Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِنِي لِأَحْسَنِ الْأَعْمَالِ وَأَحْسَنِ الْأَخْلَاقِ لَا يَهْدِي لِأَحْسَنِهَا إِلَّا أَنْتَ وَقِنِي سَيِّئَ الْأَعْمَالِ وَسَيِّئَ الْأَخْلَاقِ لَا يَقِي سَيِّئَهَا إِلَّا أَنْتَ
O Allah, guide me to the best deeds and the best character, for no one guides to the best of them but you. Protect me from evil deeds and evil character, for no one protects from the evil of them but you.
Source: Sunan al-Nasā’ī 896, Grade: Sahih
Abu Umamah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
اللَّهُمَّ أَنْعِشْنِي وَأَجِرْنِي وَاهْدِنِي لِصَالِحِ الأَعْمَالِ وَالأَخْلاقِ فَإِنَّهُ لا يَهْدِي لِصَالِحِهَا وَلا يَصْرِفُ عَنِّي سَيِّئَهَا إِلا أَنْتَ
O Allah, refresh me and protect me and guide me to righteous deeds and character, for none can guide to its righteousness and divert its evil but you.
Source: al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr 7812, Grade: Hasan
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الصِّحَّةَ وَالْعِفَّةَ وَالأَمَانَةَ وَحُسْنَ الْخُلُقِ وَالرِّضَا بِالْقَدَرِ
O Allah, I ask you for health, abstinence, trustworthiness, good character, and contentment with providence.
Source: al-Adab al-Mufrad 307, Grade: Hasan
The scholars have written many books and articles about the virtues of good character and their practical manifestations: acts of mercy, justice, fairness, patience, forbearance, modesty, humility, piety, kindness, compassion, and so forth. In each case, good character involves the respect due to Allah, as well as the respect due to human beings and animals as the creations of Allah.
Hasan Al-Basri, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
إِنَّ مِنْ أَخْلاقِ الْمُؤْمِنِ قُوَّةً فِي الدِّينِ وَحَزْمًا فِي لِينٍ وَإِيمَانًا فِي يَقِينٍ وَحِرْصًا عَلَى عِلْمٍ وَشَفَقَةً فِي تَفَقُّهٍ وَقَصْدًا فِي عِبَادَةٍ وَرَحْمَةً لِلْمَجْهُودِ وَإِعْطَاءً لِلسَّائِلِ لا يَحِيفُ عَلَى مَنْ يُبْغِضُ وَلا يَأْثَمُ فِيمَنْ يُحِبُّ فِي الزَّلازِلِ وَقُورٌ وَفِي الرَّخَاءِ شَكُورٌ قَانِعٌ بِالَّذِي لَهُ يَنْطِقُ لِيُفْهِمَ وَيَسْكُتُ لِيَسْلَمَ وَيُقِرُّ بِالْحَقِّ أَنْ يُشْهَدُ عَلَيْهِ
Verily, from the character of the believer is strength in religion, determination with leniency, faith with certainty, eagerness for knowledge, sympathy with understanding, moderation in worship, mercy with effort, giving to those who ask, not wronging the one he hates, not sinning over the one he loves, dignified in turmoil, grateful in ease, content with what he has, speaking to impart understanding, being silent out of caution, and affirming the truth as a witness over him.
Source: Jāmi’ Bayān al-‘Ilm 622
Ibn Taymiyyah summarizes the good character of Islam, saying:
وَيَنْدُبُونَ إِلَى أَنْ تَصِلَ مَنْ قَطَعَكَ وَتُعْطِيَ مَنْ حَرَمَكَ وَتَعْفُوَ عَمَّنْ ظَلَمَكَ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِبِرِّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَصِلَةِ الأَرْحَامِ وَحُسْنِ الْجِوَارِ وَالإِحْسِانِ إلَى الْيَتَامَى وَالْمَسَاكِينِ وَابْنِ السَّبِيلِ وَالرِّفْقِ بِالْمَمْلُوكِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْفَخْرِ وَالْخُيَلاءِ وَالْبَغْيِ وَالاسْتِطَالَةِ عَلَى الْخَلْقِ بِحَقٍّ أَوْ بِغَيْرِ حَقٍّ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِمَعَالِي الأَخْلاَقِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنْ سَفْسَاِفِهَا وَكُلُّ مَا يَقُولُونَهُ وَيَفْعَلُونَهُ مِنْ هَذَا وَغَيْرِهِ فَإِنَّمَا هُمْ فِيهِ مُتَّبِعُونَ لِلْكِتَابِ وَالسُّنَّةِ وَطَرِيقَتُهُمْ هِيَ دِينُ الإسْلاَمِ الَّذِي بَعَثَ اللهُ بِهِ مُحَمَّدًا صلى الله عليه وسلم
The believers encourage people to reconcile relations with those who have cut them off, to give charity to those who have deprived them, and to forgive those who have oppressed them. They order people to be benevolent with parents, to uphold family ties, to be benevolent with neighbors, to be kind with orphans, travelers, and the poor, and to be gentle with servants. They forbid bragging, arrogance, and transgression. They discourage people from feeling superior over others, rightly or wrongly. They enjoin people to use lofty manners and prohibit them from pursuing trifles. All that they say or do from these virtues and other teachings, in all of it they follow the Quran and the Sunnah. Their path is the religion of Islam with which Allah has sent Muhammad, peace be blessings be upon him.
Source: al-‘Aqīdah al-Wāsiṭīyah 1/71
As Muslims, our duty is to behave well towards Allah by continuously seeking knowledge of the religion and performing acts of worship, while at the same time behaving well towards all people, upholding divine values of justice and mercy, and responding to evil with good.