Jeddah, July 22: An Asian father who earns SR5,000 a month in Saudi Arabia spends on average 11 years of savings to marry off his daughter in India or Pakistan, while a sweeper from Bangladesh or Kerala demands an equivalent of SR15,000 and other household items from his prospective bride.
These are some of the findings of Aleem Khan Falki, a Jeddah-based writer and campaigner who has submitted his M. Phil dissertation on the subject at an Indian university. Falki made his stunning disclosures at an unusual place on Sunday night. The occasion was a mushaira or poetry evening in honor of a guest poet from Hyderabad, Alamdar Razvi. Invitees were informed of the program and some people were apprehensive that a presentation on dowry was to be delivered at a mushaira. Still, the over 200-capacity hall of Shadab Restaurant in Jeddah’s Aziziah district was full to capacity.
This shows people’s concern over a social evil that has overwhelmed the whole of the Indian Subcontinent. The opening of job opportunities in the Gulf has further aggravated the situation as those with fat pockets are setting wrong precedents of extravagance at wedding parties.
Falki made a passionate plea to the affluent class to desist from wasteful expenditure in mangnis (pre-marriage party) and wedding feasts paid by the bride’s father. He said it was unethical and goes against the tenets of Islam. He even took an oath from the audience not to attend dinner parties that have been thrown by fathers who have been obliged to do so by the families of grooms. People also pledged not to demand dowries when their sons marry.
Falki raised the issue of mehr, which according to Qur’anic injunction, must be paid by the groom to the bride. But in the subcontinent it is the other way round. While mehr payment is deferred and in the majority of cases never paid, the groom demands exorbitant sums in cash and kind from the bride. While terming the practice un-Islamic, he said paying mehr at the time of nikah should become the norm.
He also launched the second edition of his book on the menace of dowry. The book is an attempt to prove from Qur’an and Hadith that the exorbitant dowry demands by grooms is un-Islamic and has no basis in the lives of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his companions.
The program was jointly organized by 18 organizations from the Indian state of Andhra Pradesh. It was presided over by noted Pakistani poet Nasim-e-Sahr and conducted by Shareef Aslam, a popular Hyderabadi who has been living in Jeddah for the last four decades. Selected Indian and Pakistani poets such as Mehtab Qader, Asad Khan, Nasir Burnie, Anwar Ansari, Irfan Barabankwi, Faisal Tufail and Falki made the evening memorable.
–Agencies–