Riyadh, June 22: A Saudi woman who was sexually abused by her father for 19 years has accused society and the country’s legal system of collaborating with the perpetrator of the crime.
“I always thought that my father was the one who was doing me wrong, but I discovered that society and the legal system were collaborating with him,” said 32-year-old Amal, speaking at a forum entitled “Drugs and Smoking: Two Sides of One Coin, Avoid Them” at the Armed Forces Hospital in Riyadh.
Amal’s drug-addict father began abusing her when she turned 13. However, with little knowledge of who to turn to and fearing what her family and society would say, Amal was left without help for years on end.
“I hid my fear for many years, while taking all possible precautions to prevent him from taking advantage of me,” said Amal as she painfully described how she would hide from her father and try to never be alone with him.
“My main agony was at night when everyone was asleep. Although my sisters and I slept in one room, he would sneak in and touch me while I struggled and tried pushing him away,” said Amal.
As she grew older, Amal understood that what her father was doing was not rape. It was, however, an attack on her femininity, her privacy and her rights as a human being. This gave her the courage to address the problem and inform her mother and wider family who, to her disappointment, did not want to tackle the issue, fearing the consequences.
“Even my uncles knew but did not want to interfere dreading a scandal,” said Amal, adding that she has now come out to protect her sisters and give hope to others who may be experiencing the same.
After graduating from university a remarkable feat in itself as Amal’s father tried to stop her from studying Amal turned to officials for help. Her first glimpse of hope came via a television program about the Social Welfare Committee in Riyadh.
Amal called the television channel and got hold of the committee’s telephone number.
“Although they tried to help by following up on the issue with me over the telephone, the greatest obstacle was a lack of offices or representatives in our area at that time,” she said.
Amal said she filed complaints against her father with the municipality, the Human Rights Commission and the National Society for Human Rights. She added that her father was admitted into hospital for drug rehabilitation several times and would then be released a few weeks later. “The last time he approached me was when he returned home after a week’s treatment in hospital. I mustered courage and put up a fight. I beat him up and then left his house together with my sisters and mother. We moved in with my brother,” said Amal.
She finally filed charges accusing her father of mistreating her, sexually abusing her and preventing her from getting married.
Amal remembers with sadness that none of the agencies she approached took proper action to protect her.
“All they had were words of support … the judge did not rule in my favor over the two charges of mistreatment and sexual abuse. As for the third, all he said was if a suitor was to propose he would marry me to him,” she said.
Although her father is currently being penalized on drug related charges, he has not been classified as a sexual predator and still has control over her. Amal has requested her guardianship and that of her sisters is handed to her brother, something that the courts refused. “How can an incompetent person become responsible for a family?” said Amal, wondering what she would do should her father demand she returns home.
Mohammad Al-Harbi, director general for social welfare at the Ministry of Social Affairs, said: “Providing shelter is top priority in cases such as this… however, we have received many complaints that are found to be false after investigations.”
Al-Harbi believes Amal failed to win her rights because she did not go through proper channels. “We have a hotline where we receive cases and refer callers to offices close to their locations… we have a system in which a committee visits such people, studies their cases and guides them on the proper procedures,” said Al-Harbi.
He explained that should there be evidence of abuse, victims are moved to shelters or other safer environments. He said four shelters have recently opened in Riyadh, Dammam, Taif and Abha.
Al-Harbi said hospitals have been asked to cooperate with the Ministry of Social Affairs and inform them of any abuse cases they attend. “Hospitals usually communicate with the families of drug addicts and mentally ill patients to understand their home situation. When such people pose a threat to their families then all official agencies, including the police, the social services and the courts, take action to protect the families, punish the perpetrators and ensure the threat is removed,” said Al-Harbi. He added that a lack of communication between official agencies could cause great harm.
In the meantime, Amal is still waiting for society to do her justice. She has devastating memories of the past and a great deal of fear of the future.
-Agencies