It is an undeniable fact that in every part of the world the regional customs and traditions have overshadowed the Nikah and Valima ceremonies. But it is more so for the Indian subcontinent. There are so many unislamic customs linked with the Nikah function. People do not hesitate to use the word marriage and wedding instead of Nikah, the Islamic terminology and with that it is thought that since the marriage is an occasion of happiness hence there is nothing wrong in singing and dancing, firing crackers and doing all sorts of enjoyment to celebrate the occasion.
In the Prophet’s era sending the marriage proposal or selecting bride or groom for one’s children was not a complicated task and mostly parents or brothers and sisters had the central position but today the situation is such that dozens of people arrive at prospective bride’s residence more than once. It is also insisted by the prospective groom’s relatives that the girl should do parade in front of male members also, though not permitted by Islam.
Although it is permitted in Islam that the prospective bride and groom can see each other before marriage is settled but when a boy asks for that so many eyebrows are raised.
The first function that is organized after alliance is settled is the function of ‘paumeez’ which is the final phase of groom being ‘sold’, as the dowry payment is being done on this day. On one side dowry in cash form is handed over to groom’s parents and correspondingly they take the measurement of bride’s shoe and dress on the same day. All these customs and traditions are a blend of Rajput traditions.
It is not out of place to mention here that we Muslims have also considered the glass bangles and kalipot (black beads) as the signs of marriage hood which is purely impious.
If a woman whose husband is alive doesn’t wear mangalsutra ((black beads necklace) it is thought to be improper. Most of the religious families too have superstitions that avoiding managalsutra implies widowhood.
Ather Moin