Hyderabad: The end of Ramadan not only signals the fasting season and a spate of lavish Eid parties, but a wave of wedding celebrations. However, the coronavirus has thrown a wrench in to the matriomonial plans of many city folk. Be it the actual weddings or certain regressive practices practiced by certain families, marriages have become diluted or devoid of dowry. The latter has lead to marriages being cancelled and postponed. Although many are opting for the simple, intimate celebration, a concept usually associated with certain socio-economic backgrounds.
“The whole idea of the grand Hyderabad wedding that has guest lists running into the thousands and lakhs worth of expenditure on clothes, jewellery bands. And who bears the expenses of this pomp and circumstance? The bride’s family,” says Aleem Khan Falaki, President of the Socio-Reforms Society.
The doctor also runs a campaign against dowry said, “There were strict orders given by the government to no hold any gatherings, wedding functions, and functions due to the lockdown, several nuptial ceremonies. Although some couples tied the knot with only close relatives from both families from the bride and groom’s side gathered at their house for the Nikah ceremony.”
Some Valima dinners, which were also low-key, took place.
He feels that people are under the delusion that these marriages that were held during this period were not similar to those of the Prophet’s (SAW) time. Yet, he clarifies, “These simple iteration of are more than reminiscent of that time. That is exactly how these ceremonies took place.”
Upon being asked about how to go about this special occasion in a simple way in pandemic-ridden times, Dr. Falaki says to go about it via the Islamic way. He says that Islam affords the simplest means entering the institution of marriage. “All one has to do is directly venture to the Sadar Khazi’s (Head Marriage Priest) office) where they can pay the reasonable fee and enter into the union of husband and wife.”
In the times of pandemic
Besides the lockdown prompting people to undertake simple Nikah rites, this is a time where the societal evil that is dowry still rears its head.
So i here by appeal to the families who are taking this COVID-19 lockdown as opportunity to demand huge amount of dowry and bride’s father who takes loan from the market on interest so that his daughter could get married i suggest them to take this Covid-19 lockdown seriously and perform the marriage as simple as possible with no demands no terms and conditions, appeals Dr. Falaki.
Dr. Falaki stated that the marriage expenses which had been saved due to lockdown, Paumis rakham and Jumagi expenses (money used to organise various traditional functions) have been spent in a different way, there are 30 per cent such marriages in which groom families have demanded the “compensation” of all these traditional functions by asking huge amount of cash or kind, other electronics or appliances from the bride’s father.
Falaki alleges that the grandmother from bride’s family have increased the amount of ‘dowry’ for the bride’s dignity and security. And the bride’s family have paid the amount in various manner for their daughter’s dignity.
Where as in poor families marriages which were fixed on the terms of ‘Dehaj’ (Dowry), grand wedding, with all traditional functions these marriages have been cancelled as the groom’s family have increased the cost of weeding due to COVID-19 lockdown which had lead the bride’s family to step back from the marriage as they could not able to bear fulfill the demands of groom, informed Falaki.
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