It is a matter when I was young. I had some work with an officer. It was my youth time. I did not know how to get the work done from an officer I consulted an experienced friend of mine. He said, “It is not difficult to get the work done from that officer. He is a person who likes flattery. Say two or four sentences dignifying him and see how easily your work gets done”.I told him, “I don’t know him. Which aspect of his personality should I praise? There must be some basis for praise”.
My friend said, “Any praise in connection with flattery has no basis. You are young and you are talking as an inexperienced person. If you gain experience in flattery, you won’t talk such irrelevant things. However, for the sake of your convenience, I tell you that this officer is proud of his nose. Quite often, he sees his nose in the mirror. He thinks that no other officer has such a nose on his face. If someone praises his nose, he won’t be able to contain himself. You also praise his nose and get your work done. Obvious truths require no proof (Haath Kanga ko aarsi kya)”.
This was our first step forward. I had no knowledge of this art. As soon as I reached the officer, I started saying , “Your honour! (Huzoor) I have some essential work with you. If you promise to do me a favour, in response to it I am prepared to praise your nose. If you accept this transaction, please order me, so that I could apprise you of my golden thoughts”. After listening to my lofty commands, the nose of the officer first turned red and then yellow. When I gazed at it, the nose looked even green. I waited for his command but he ordered his peon to send me out.
While getting my hand released from the peon, I said, “It is your high-handedness.First of all, I praise your nose and you send me out through your peon. It is a transaction of loss. However, really your nose is very beautiful. God willing, God be praised! What a nose you have got?”. We contained saying this and the peon got me out of the room. After coming out of the room, the peon told me that “My son! This nose got many works done. This is the first time that a person is getting a loss from this nose. It is a very painful thing” I said, “Indeed, it is very strange. I was praising his nose very seriously.”
The peon said, “Lad-! While praising someone, the manner of flattery should not be so curt and serious. The praise should be in such a way that sometimes it is visible and sometime it is not. The person who praises should do it pausing intermittently. The person who receives praises should identify himself with it and make it the part of his personality. Then only there is a pleasure of flattering and being flattered.”
On that day, I felt that flattery is also a systematic art which is to be learnt. The officer with a nose did not do my work but I got an advantage that whenever I got some work, I flattered in such a way that he felt as if it is in his heart.
The History and Geography of flattery both are very ancient. I don’t know at which turning of life, man learnt how to flatter but I certainly know that in making History and in defacing it, flattery has played an important role. When there was the reign of imperialism, the flatterers were called companions. These companions used to be patronized. They were awarded feudal estates. The kings used to dance according to the gestures of their flattery. The king used to be a nominal sovereign. In reality, the companions used to rule. That period was the era of zenith of flattery.
When democracy was introduced, the ways of flattery were changed. People flatter the leaders and the leaders flatter the public. So to say, now the clapping is done with both the hands. Flattery is not done by the individuals alone but it is done by countries as well. It is, therefore, observed that man or countries flatter. They divided flattery into blocs. With this, you may guess how important the art of flattery is. Those who are aware of the art of flattery know that the real flattery is that which should not be suspected.
It is a matter of few days ago that a friend of mine came to me and started praising my bush shirt. Not accepting his comment, I told him. “It is an ordinary bush shirt. There is nothing special about it.”
He said, “ How can you assess its value, you are wearing it. May God preserve you from evil eyes. Lest someone cause a malignant intent. What a design it has_! What a colour it has_! God be praised_! Bravo_!The manner with which you wear clothes, no one has it.” After listening to his praise, I couldn’t have done anything more than except feeling shy. In my heart, I was praising myself of the choice of my selection.
Before the praise could end, my friend asked me, “My dear friend! Tell me how much money you have in the pocket of your bush shirt?” I was very happy, so I told him spontaneously. “ fifty rupees” He said,” there is no parallel of this bush shirt. “Set aside the talk of design and colour. It has exactly the same amount I needed. Can you lend me fifty rupees?” I immediately took out rupees fifty and gave them to him. When he left and the importance of my bush shirt was declared, then I realised that in fact I was fooled by flattery.
Those who want to learn the art of flattering, I will tell them that there is no time fixed for flattery. However, some people indulge in flattery by framing a time table. That is, on the first date of every month, the husband flatters the wife and during the last week of the month, the husband flatters the wife and during the time of examination, the students flatter the teacher. During the period of price rise, the trader flatters the customer.
However, if anyone who faces adversity, he immediately resorts to flattery. At this time, I recollect the British author who had borrowed some money from a fanatic critic during the circumstances when he was facing adversity. When the fanatic critic became his debtor, he started praising his creative literary works in the literary meetings.
At one time, he went so far in praising that the poor author to such an extent that he himself had to get up and say, “My dear brothers|_! This critic had borrowed two hundred pounds from me and from then onwards he has started praising me. Before borrowing money from me he could not see any thing good in my stories. Since then only virtues are being seen by him in my stories. I forgive the loan he had taken from me. For God’s sake, please prohibit him from praising me in future”. This was the case of an honest European author.Had it been my case, I would have lent more money to him because this is the way we can make critics our supporters. Initially when I had resorted to flattery, my conscience had reproached me. Conscience is an obsolete thing. Time has done a lot of damage. This conscience of mind does not get free itself from reproaching. Initially, I followed the path misled by my conscience but when I started realizing that it is leading me to a different world, I adopted the right track. For many days, I was in a condition of perplexity. If I flatter, my conscience would reproach me and I follow the path suggested by my conscience. I think of my children becoming orphan.
At last, when I came out of this state of confusion, I was praising the good qualities of another officer on his face. Earlier, I used to praise this officer in his office which was later extended to his house. When I went to his hours for flattery, I got a sense of relief that there are many more personalities who are engaged in flattery. I had also got bored of flattery the same person. In the beginning, I started flattering the mother of the officer. Later, I turned towards his wife but I had to pause flattery at various stages. I then bestowed flattery on the officer. At last, the dog of the officer was left out. I had not flattered the dog but the dog had started flattering me because he had become very familiar to me on account of my frequent visits to the officer’s house. Dog is the only animal to knows the art of flattery very well and he uses his tail as an instruments of flattery. For to six to seven months, I continued flattering the officer at his residence. The officer felt pretty on me and he found a way out for my promotion. As soon as I got my promotion, some people started coming to me for flattery. My heart felt very much relieved.
KYA KHOOB SOWDA NAQD HAI IS HAAT THEY US HAATH LAY
(what sought of a cash transaction is this? Give it from one hand and take it from the other)
Shall I tell you another tactics of flattery that you should flatter a person to the extent he could be helpful to you. We should not waste flattery in such a manner. For instance, take my example. After giving me promotion, the officer retired and got pension. One day, he met me on my way. He thought that I would be very courteous to him. He put his hand on my shoulder with affection. I looked at him cursorily and said, “I am sorry, I didn’t recognize you. Who are you?”. My previous officer sensed it and thought that I have become very economical in flattering and so it is not worthwhile to take the matter further.
I realized that I have learnt the art of flattery with great difficulty because my ego was my great enemy earlier. I pressed the throat of my ego with my own hands, the benefit of which was that I got the courage even to flatter a peon, if need be. You may see how much progress I could make:
ALLAH KARAY MARHALAY-E- SHOWQ NA HO THAY
(May God, not allow the stage of our eagerness to finish)