The Muslim fasting month of Ramadan this year will soon come to an end. Ramadan will be concluded with a festivity called Id-ul-Fitr.
In this modern age where man is full of guilt complexes, perhaps the most forgotten or suppressed concept in their hearts or minds is that implied in the word “forgiveness.”
But Idul Fitri which in Indonesia is more commonly called “Lebaran” is a perfect moment for Muslims to apply the word`s meaning to relatives and friends.
During Idul Fitri which means “becoming holy again” in Arabic Muslims around the world, especially those in Indonesia, will visit their parents, relatives, and friends to ask for forgiveness for any wrongdoings they have committed in the past year.
They will express their heartfelt remorse and apologize by saying, “Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Batin” which means “Please, forgive me for any wrong I have committed in physical or non-physical sense.”
In addition to saying Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Batin, the traditional Arabic Muslim greeting for Idul Fitri celebrations also commonly used in Indonesia is “Minal Aidin Wal Fa Idzin”, which is expressed upon meeting friends and family during the festive days.
During those festive days, traditional tasty foods are served as family members, relatives, and friends gather to ask for forgiveness and exchange greetings.
Early in the morning on Lebaran day, mosques, open fields, parks, and major streets are usually packed with hundreds or thousands of faithfuls for the performance of Idul Fitri prayers.
“What an amazing sight it is to see rows of hundreds of Muslim women in their mukena (head-to-toe-prayer white gowns), and men wearing sarong, traditional shirts and `peci` hats, performing Idul Fitri morning prayers,” a spectator would be prompted to say.
Soon after the prayers, the faithfuls spontaneously come to each other to exchange Idul Fitri greetings.
Even on the walk home from the mass prayers, they meet friends and neighbors to ask for forgiveness.
One or two weeks, and even a month after Lebaran, friends, colleagues, employees from a company, or members of an organization, Muslims or non-Muslims alike, gather for “Halal Bihalal” to share food and drinks and ask each other for forgiveness.
But sometimes there are people who say, “I`ll never forgive him or her for that.” “I have asked him to forgive me and he has, but I don`t think I can forgive myself.” “I`ll forgive you but I won`t forget.” “I`d like to forgive, but I don`t feel forgiving,” and many more statements as far as forgiveness is concerned.
Each of us faces the need to forgive or to be forgiven. Each of us has experienced unforgiveness as well.
Stan Jackson of Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, once said that without the ability to forgive, the ability to feel forgiven, and the ability to forget the trespass, people cannot grow in a relationship.
“Any relationship which is strong, healthy, and growing includes these three parts: The ability to forgive, to be forgiven, and to forget,” he said.
Forgiveness is not an emotion, it is an act of the will. Before forgiveness can occur, we must decide by an act of the will that we want to forgive. So the decision comes first, the emotion comes later.
So much so that Corrie Boom in her book the “Hiding Place”, gives a beautiful illustration of this point.
In 1947, after a lecture on forgiveness in Germany, Corrie was forced to put her words into action.
A former guard from Ravensbruck whom she recognized, asked for Corrie`s handshake and forgiveness.
At first, Corrie could not do it because all the horrors of the concentration camp were too vivid and painful for her to forgive the former guard from Ravensbruck.
But she prayed and asked God at least to allow her the mechanical movements of a handshake, and then she willed that she would forgive the guard. As she shook hands with the former guard, the power of God`s forgiveness moved between them.
Is forgiveness missing from your relationships? Is there someone you need to forgive today? Do it right now without tarry, not waiting until Lebaran day arrives.
In Christianity, Biblical scholar C.I. Scofield said, “Human forgiveness rests upon and results from divine forgiveness. We are to forgive because our heavenly father has forgiven us of our sins.”
Therefore forgiveness must be contagious. It means we have been forgiven and that we have to pass it along and forgive others as well.
In the second book of Corinthians it is said, “Ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.”
So it is not enough to say, “I forgive you” and then dismiss that person with no encouragement. To forgive requires giving comfort and encouragement by both words and actions.
We must demonstrate our forgiveness and show that the trespass is forgiven and remember it no more.
If we are willing to forgive but we wait for the other person to ask for forgiveness first, it might not happen. Therefore we are to take the initiative. We are not to wait for the other person to ask for forgiveness. We have to do that first as the saying goes, “Whatever you want others to do for you, do it first for them.”
We have to forgive again and again. That does not mean we stop forgiving after Idul Fitri. We have to forgive others an unlimited number of times all the days of our life, “even in season or out of season.”
Since we are human, this may be difficult but only by consistently calling on God to help us can we forgive others “Lahir dan Batin,” from the bottom or our heart and soul.
-Agencies