Our supplications for Allah to forgive them and have mercy on them will benefit them even as they are existing in the grave.
Abu Huraira, RadhiAllahu Anhu, reported: The Messenger of Allah, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ لَيَرْفَعُ الدَّرَجَةَ لِلْعَبْدِ الصَّالِحِ فِي الْجَنَّةِ فَيَقُولُ يَا رَبِّ أَنَّى لِي هَذِهِ فَيَقُولُ بِاسْتِغْفَارِ وَلَدِكَ لَكَ
Verily, Allah Almighty will raise the status of his righteous servants in Paradise and they will say: O Lord, what is this? Allah will say: This is due to your child seeking forgiveness for you.
Source: Musnad Aḥmad 10232, Grade: Hasan
Each particular parent has served us in a special way that only natural fathers and mothers can provide.
We should realize that our fathers have served us so much that we can never fully compensate them. It would only be possible to fully repay our fathers if we found them as a slave and set them free, which is practically impossible.
Abu Huraira, RadhiAllahu Anhu, reported: The Messenger of Allah, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
لَا يَجْزِي وَلَدٌ وَالِدًا إِلَّا أَنْ يَجِدَهُ مَمْلُوكًا فَيَشْتَرِيَهُ فَيُعْتِقَهُ
No child can compensate his father unless he finds him as a slave, buys him, and sets him free.
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2787, Grade: Sahih
That father is, in fact, a means for us to enter Paradise just by treating them well and being dutiful to their needs.
Abu Darda, RadhiAllahu Anhu, reported: The Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
الْوَالِدُ أَوْسَطُ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ فَإِنْ شِئْتَ فَأَضِعْ ذَلِكَ الْبَابَ أَوْ احْفَظْهُ
The father is the middle of the gates of Paradise, so keep to this gate or lose it.
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1900, Grade: Sahih
Such is the great honor a father deserves, yet the mother deserves even more due to the great sacrifices and pain she endured during childbirth.
Allah said:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
We have enjoined upon man care for his parents. His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents, for unto Me is the final destination.
Surat Luqman 31:14
And Allah said:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا ۖ وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَالُهُ ثَلَاثُونَ شَهْرًا ۚ حَتَّىٰ إِذَا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُ وَبَلَغَ أَرْبَعِينَ سَنَةً قَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي فِي ذُرِّيَّتِي ۖ إِنِّي تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ
We have enjoined upon man to be good to his parents. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning is thirty months. He grows until, when he matures and reaches the age of forty years, he says: My Lord, enable me to be grateful for your favor you have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and to work righteousness of pleasing to you, and to make my offspring righteous for me. Verily, I have repented to you, and I am of the Muslims who surrender to you.
Surat al-Ahqaf 46:15
For this reason, the Prophet (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) declared that our mother is the most deserving of our good company, even before our father.
Abu Huraira, RadhiAllahu Anhu, reported: A man asked the Messenger of Allah, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, “Who is most deserving of my good company?” The Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
أُمُّكَ
Your mother.
The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
أُمُّكَ
Your mother.
The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
أُمُّكَ
Your mother.
The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
أَبُوكَ
Your father.
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5626, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
The mother’s rights over us are so great that the Prophet (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) once told a man not to join the military expedition so he could return to his parents and serve them, specifically his mother, for Paradise is under her feet.
Abdullah ibn Amr, RadhiAllahu Anhu, reported: A man came to the Messenger of Allah, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, asking permission to strive in jihad. The Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
أَحَيٌّ وَالِدَاكَ
Are your parents alive?
He said yes. The Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
فَفِيهِمَا فَجَاهِدْ
Then strive in their service.
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 2842, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
In another narration, the Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
فَارْجِعْ إِلَى وَالِدَيْكَ فَأَحْسِنْ صُحْبَتَهُمَا
Then return to your parents and treat them with good company.
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2549, Grade: Sahih
And in another narration, the Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
ارْجِعْ عَلَيْهِمَا فَأَضْحِكْهُمَا كَمَا أَبْكَيْتَهُمَا
Return to them and make them laugh, just as you made them cry.
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 2528, Grade: Sahih
Mu’awiyah ibn Jahima, RadhiAllahu Anhu, reported: A man came to the Messenger of Allah, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, I intend to join the expedition and I seek your advice.” The Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
هَلْ لَكَ مِنْ أُمٍّ
Do you have a mother?
He said yes. The Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
فَالْزَمْهَا فَإِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ تَحْتَ رِجْلَيْهَا
Stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.
Source: Sunan al-Nasā’ī 3104, Grade: Sahih
Hence, our duty to our mothers is not optional or merely recommended. It is an obligation and Allah has forbidden us from neglecting our mothers and our parents in general.
Al-Mughirah ibn Sha’bah, RadhiAllahu Anhu, reported: The Messenger of Allah, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ حَرَّمَ عَلَيْكُمْ عُقُوقَ الْأُمَّهَاتِ
Verily, Allah has forbidden you from neglecting your duty to your mothers.
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5630, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
It should be clear to us now how important it is to obey our parents and treat them well. Conversely, disobedience to parents is among the worst major sins in Islam.
Anas ibn Malik, RadhiAllahu Anhu, reported: The Prophet, SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, said regarding the major sins:
الشِّرْكُ بِاللَّهِ وَعُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَقَتْلُ النَّفْسِ وَقَوْلُ الزُّورِ
They are associating idols with Allah, disobedience to parents, killing a person, and false testimony.
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5632, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
If the Prophet (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) has associated disobedience to parents with idolatry and falsehood, the worst sins in Islam, then this tells us that disobedience is not a sinful deed we should take lightly.
We ask Allah to bless our parents, to forgive them, to have mercy upon them, and to assist us in fulfilling our duties toward them.
Success comes from Allah, and Allah knows best.