Hyderabad, July 30: “Old age needs so little, but needs that little so much,” they say. But in urban India, where everybody is too busy trying to stay ahead or stay afloat, where does it leave our senior citizens?
“It is difficult when both spouses are working. Somebody needs to take care of the children , you know,” says Shashidhar Varma, who heads an IT department in an MNC. By and large, this seems to be the reality of many families.
Demands on parents are overwhelming, especially on women who do not have support systems, and therefore have to become superwoman, juggling work and family life.
To avoid leaving their children at home without proper supervision, or for those who cannot afford daycare services, the only choice which seems feasible is the grandparents taking care of the children.
Says Subashree Mattu, “As a new parent of a three-month-old baby, I went through the nightmare of taking care of my daughter and heading out to work. Time just flies. I was up as early as 3 a.m, otherwise I could not make it on time to my office.”
While there is no denying that some grandparents do cherish the pleasure of looking after their grandchildren and allowing parents to concentrate on their careers, there are cases when they are either too old, medically unable or just might not be willing to be “parents” again.
“I would like to do my bit, but I am not growing any younger. It is enough that I do not trouble others, taking on the further responsibilities is too difficult,” says 72-year-old Bhagya Laxmi, who has to take care of her two granddaughters while her son and daughter-in-law go to work. Laxmi, however, tries to oblige as says she is overwhelmed with guilt if she does not do what she is asked to do.
The trend raises questions if grandparents have just been reduced to providing free child care at the fag end of their lives, when they look forward to more leisure and rest. Instead they find the enormous responsibility of bringing up a child thrust upon them.
The bottom line, however, is that the degree of resentment or acceptance of grandparents depends on whether or not they have a choice in the matter.
–Agencies