Abu Hurayrah may Allah be pleased with him narrated that Probhet (PBUH) said: “If there comes to you an offer of marriage, one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be mischief on earth and widespread corruption.”
Abu Saeed Khudri and Abdullah ibn Abbas (R.A.) narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said “Whoever is blessed by the Creator with children should give them good names, a good training, teach them good manners, and arrange for their marriage when they attain the age of puberty. If he does not pay due heed to it and fails to get them married, on reaching marriageable age (due to negligence) and they take to ways that are forbidden, the father will be held responsible for it.”
One night, Hazrat Omer bin Khattab (RAA) as usual went in disguise to see the condition of the people. He strolled from one quarter to another. While passing by a small house, the Caliph (RAA) heard a whispering talk within. The mother was telling her daughter to add water to the milk. The girl said, “Have you forgotten the Caliph’s order? He ordered that the milk should not be adulterated.” The mother said, “But there is neither the Caliph nor any of his officers here to see what we do.” The girl refused to fall in with the plan of her mother. She said, “Caliph may or may not be here. You may escape the notice of the Caliph and his officers, but how can we escape the notice of Allah and our own conscience.”
Ameer ul Momineen was so inspired by the girl’s answer and her fear of God that the next day he summoned the daughter and the mother to his court. The Caliph called his sons, and addressing them said, “Here is a gem of a girl who would make a great mother. I desire that one of you should take this girl as wife. I know of no better bride than this girl of sterling character. In matters of wedlock, it should be the character and not the stature in life that should count.” Abdullah and Abdur Rahman the elder sons of the Caliph (RAA) were already married.
Asim the third son was yet unmarried and he offered to marry the girl. Thereupon with the consent of the milkmaid and her mother, Asim was married to the girl, and milkmaid became the daughter-in-law of the Caliph (RAA). From this union was born a daughter Umm Asim, who became in due course the mother of Umar bin Abdul Aziz.
Today parents’ criteria have totally changed. Their focus of attention is the beauty queens at the parties, overlooking character aspect. Most of the houses confront with family issues thanks to the beauty and class criteria of selecting brides.
When parents try to get their daughters married they have different perspective, they are against dowry and criteria of selecting the bride keeping beauty aspect in mind. But as soon as their daughter gets married and they start searching bride for their son, their views and norms change.
They forget that the problems faced by them being the parents of a daughter, will now be faced by someone else. It seems that they want to take revenge of their suffering by other parents. Parents who spend lakhs of rupees to get their daughter married if reject those proposals which demand huge amount of dowry and instead draw up their will to give succession to their daughters then no doubt there will be a great transformation in the society.
Social issues generating because of delay in hunt of a suitable match need to be eliminated.
By: Ather Moin / Email Id: athermoin1@gmail.com
——–Siasat Bureau Report