Several justifications and logics are given regarding impacts of local society on human life and nearly every one has assumed that it is difficult to do away with the customs and rituals of local society and there is no harm in performing those acts which do not affect one’s religious belief. The result of this thought is that we have adopted several rituals from non Muslims. Especially the Nikah ceremony is filled with superstitions and absurdities. Among the rituals linked with Nikah which are negatively affecting our society are ‘sanchaq’ and ‘mehendi’. These rituals are not only needless and meaningless but they incur heavy financial burden on bride’s family.
The indecent acts done during these rituals can not be permitted in moral society. In the recent few decades the element of modernism and modernity is booming among Muslims consequently we are crossing our Islamic limits and our elders and religious scholars are also tight-lipped upon this.
Outwardly the ritual of ‘sanchaq’ is the introduction and get-together of the two strange families but infact it is an intermingling of two unfamiliar families, without discrimination of ‘mahram’ or ‘namahram’.
When the groom’s family reaches the bride’s house on the occasion of sanchaq they are given a warm welcome are fed with grand dinner. The groom’s family ostentatiously brings the jewellery, dresses, dried fruits and nuts and garlands for the bride all wrapped up in display trays, though bought with the amount taken from the bride family itself in the name of ‘ghode jode ki raqm’. The specific number of trays is also taken into account. Dowry items are also displayed on the occasion.
The bride is adorned with the jewellery by groom’s family and is decked over with the saree which she would wear in valima. She is applied mehendi and sandalwood paste and is garlanded by them.
Ladies apply heavy make-up to attend this function. Elite class ladies take a round of beauty parlour to enhance their beauty for which they spend heavy amount. These festivities last till midnight. Then after the return of groom’s family, the bride’s family gears up to go to groom’s house. When the bride’s family reaches the groom’s house it is almost the wee hours of the night.
The bride’s family is much awaited by the bachelors of the groom’s side as the unmarried girls play a central role in this function. On the occasion, bride’s sister applies mehendi on groom’s little finger and holds onto his finger until she gets money from the groom. The longer he refuses to meet your demands, the darker the colour of the henna on his finger! The groom along with his brothers’ and cousins teases the sister of the bride by giving someone else’s hand.
The participants are divided into two groups; the groom’s side and the bride’s side and the contention begins and both the groups indulge in witticism. All sorts of indecent remarks are made during this. Brother in law and sister in law are namahram even before and after the marriage and hence touching each other is a sin. Besides this the consequences coming to the fore due to intermingling of men and women are not unheard of by anyone.
If we do not put a curb to these rituals the day would not be far when we won’t need to celebrate these functions as after getting known to each other during these ceremonies the boy and the girl would fall in love and would perform Nikah in secret or perform a court marriage. Before it happens every family should give attention towards these absurdities.
Ather Moin