Being considerate of the feelings of a Muslim when related to hospitality:
Being considerate of the host’s feelings when you cannot attend: The food prepared for a guest is a form of generosity to the person invited and a means of welcoming them and showing kindness to them. This kindness must be returned with goodness as Allaah Says:
“Is the reward for good [anything] but good?”
(QUR’AAN: 55: 60)
However, the person must apologize kindly and courteously. Sa’b ibn Juthaamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported that he gifted the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, a wild donkey when he was in Al-Abwaa’ or Waddaan. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, turned it down. The narrator says, When the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, saw my face (in another narration: saw how I disliked it from my face) He, sallallaah alayhi wa sallam, said: “We only turned it down because we are in the state of Ihraam.”
[Reported by AlBukhaari (1825) and Muslim (1193)]
Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported: “A man came to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said: ‘I am hard pressed by hunger.’ He, sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam, sent a word to one of his wives who replied: ‘By Him Who has sent you with the Truth, I have nothing except water.’ Then he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, sent the same message to another (wife) and received the same reply. He sent this message to all of them (i.e., his wives) and received the same reply. Then he, sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam, said: ‘Who will entertain this (man) as guest?’ One of the Ansaar said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I will.’ The Ansaari asked his wife: ‘Have you got anything?’ She answered: ‘Nothing, except a little food for the children.’ He said: ‘Keep them busy with something, and when they ask for food put them to sleep. When the guest enters, extinguish the light and give him the impression that we are also eating.’ So they sat down and the guest ate and they passed the night hungry. When he came to the Prophet, sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam, in the morning, he said to him: ‘Allaah admired what you did with your guest last night.'”
[Reported by AlBukhaari (3798) and Muslim (2054)]