All praise is due to Allaah, and may His peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his family and Companions.
Allaah the Almighty has ordained this valuable religion for us and He has perfected it. He has completed His blessings upon us and approved Islaam as a religion for us. It is complete and clear, including the creed, forms of worship, dealings with others, and the Muslim’s relationship with his Lord and his own self and others.
The way of life that has been set forth in the Qur’aan and the authentic Prophetic Sunnah (traditions), is not limited to only creed, worship, actions of the limbs and the slave’s relationship with his Lord. It goes
further than that, and tells us to be well-mannered with Allaah’s creation, to be kind and charitable to them and to maintain a good
relationship with them. And so we find that Islaam calls to being friendly with others, and to treat them well. It tells us to be
considerate of their feelings and emotions according to the sublime Islaamic rules and guidelines. It is concerned with manners, morals and the social relations between individuals, explaining the duties and rights.
It commands us to be well-mannered, and to choose appropriate words according to different situations.
Being considerate of the feelings of two people privately conversing and sitting next to each other:
It is a form of politeness in Islaam, when entering upon a group of people in conversation whether two or more, to ask for
permission to sit with them. This is because the people conversing may have secrets, and the intruding person may hear something they do not want him to hear, or he may force them
to remain silent or change the topic of conversation, thereby disrupting their previous conversation. The appropriate courtesy when entering upon people is to ask for their permission, making them pleased and happy at his entrance.
Sa’eed Al-Maqbari said: “I passed by Ibn ‘Umar who had a man with him with whom he was conversing. I went to them, and he struck me on the chest and said: did you not know that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:
“When you find two men conversing, do
not go up to them nor sit with them until they give you permission.'”
[Reported by Ahmad (5949) and it is Saheeh as reported in As-Silsilah As-Saheeha (1395).]
Something similar to this is not to sit between two people who were sitting together without their permission. ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported that the
Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:
“It is not lawful for a man to separate between two people without their permission.”
[Reported by At-Tirmithi (2752) and Abu Daawood (4845) and Al-Albaani ruled it as
Being considerate of the feelings of others when privately conversing:
Islaam forbids private conversation
between two people when a third person is present, even if it is good speech. This is because it can sadden the person who is
left out of the conversation and the person might think that they are saying something unpleasant about him. Ibn Mas’ood,
may Allaah be pleased with him, said: the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:
“When you are three together, two
should not speak together privately apart from the other one until you come together with other people because that might upset him.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhaari (6290) and Muslim (2184).]
An-Nawawi, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: “This indicates that it is forbidden. So it is forbidden for two people to converse privately excluding the other person unless he permits
Ibn Hajar, may Allaah have mercy on him, said:
“His saying ‘until you come together with other people’ means that the three people in question gather with other people. The word other is general, meaning it could be one person or more…
From this we conclude that if there are four people it is permissible for two to speak privately, as the other two can
also speak privately.
Ibn ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him,
said I asked the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:
‘What about four?’
He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied:
“It will not harm you.”
When Ibn ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, wanted to speak privately with somebody when there were three of them, he would call a fourth person and say: sit down for a while, as I have heard…and he would mention the Hadeeth.
Being considerate of a person’s feelings by not making him leave his spot for someone else to sit in:
Abu Al-Khusayb, may Allaah have mercy on him, reported: “As I was sitting, Ibn ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, came and a man stood up from his place for him, but he did not sit in that place. Instead he sat somewhere else, so the man asked: Why didn’t you sit there? He replied: I would not sit in your place or anyone else’s place after something I witnessed from the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam: A man came to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, so a man stood up from his place and the other man went to sit there. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, forbade him from doing so.”
[Reported by Abu Daawood (4828) and Ahmad (5567), Al-Albaani: Hasan]
Ibn ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:
“Do not ask someone to give up his seat in order to take it, but make accommodation wide and sit at ease.”
In another narration:
I said: “How about Friday?”
He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:
“On Friday and other days.”
It was a habit of Ibn `Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, that if a person left his seat for him, he would not take it.
[Reported by Al-Bukhaari (6269) and Muslim (2177).]
Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported that
the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A man should not give up his place for another man, instead make space and Allaah shall make space for you.”
[Reported by Ahmad (10266) and Al-Albaani ruled it as authentic.]
Being considerate of the rightful owner of a spot if he returns to it after leaving it:
Islaam has identified rights and the protection of rights so that opinions do not differ, and so that people do not claim what is not their right,
leading to aversion and hatred. One of these rights is a person’s place, so anyone who precedes others to a certain place makes
them entitled to it. If the person leaves the place due to a need and wants to return to it then he is entitled to do so, and the
person who sat in his place must leave it for him. It is better for the person to leave a sign or indication that it is his place to
avoid aversion and hatred.
Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:
“If someone leaves his spot, then returns to it, he is better entitled to it.”
[Reported by Muslim (2179).]