Is beheading bounty of Rs 10 crores inclusive of GST? asks Twinkle Khanna

Famous for her satires she makes, Twinkle Khanna does not shy away from talking about any topic.

Mrs Funnybones in her blog this time at Times of India inquires about the bounty amount of Rs 10 crore for beheading Deepika Padukone.

Twinkle sneers at the BJP leader, Suraj Pal Amu, who had become a laughing-stock, as well as an object of ridicule for most of us for his out of the box threat to Deepika.

Here is what Twinkle had written:

The silver lining to my sleep-deprived cloud is that at least I get some quiet time to acclimatize my brain as well as my body to India’s boiling climate where people are busy offering bounties: Rs 25,000 to blacken Kamal Haasan’s face, cut Farooq Abdullah’s tongue and earn Rs 21 lakh, a slap across Lalu’s son’s face could score you a cool crore and finally, of course, from Haryana BJP’s Suraj Pal Amu, a grand prize of Rs 10 crore for beheading Deepika Padukone.

I am certain that if rewards were offered for blackening a cow’s face or chopping her body parts off, there would be riots all over the country, but since here we are only talking about lopping off bits of human anatomy, all seems to be well.

Inspired by my new friend, Mikaila, I too decide that when life gives you lemons, it’s a good idea to just make shikanji. I quickly shoot off an email to Mr Suraj Pal Amu…‘Dear Sir ji, It is lovely that you are supporting your party’s claims that the Indian economy is booming by offering such generous payment terms. I did have a question though before I apply for the job, is the beheading fee of 10 crore inclusive of GST?’

Toodles,

T

Don’t judge me folks, even Mahatma Gandhi once said, ‘In our good old banana republic, if you can’t beat the orangutans, you must join them immediately! ’

All right, I just made that up, but what Gandhiji really did say was, ‘If I had no sense of humour, I would long ago have committed suicide.’

Currently, I am holding onto that line with the same intensity that Tarzan holds onto vines as he swings from one tree to another, because I too am swinging — over pools of boiling lava and lunacy, unable to recognise our swiftly altering topography.”