ONE falafel, extra tabouli but hold the onion.Does that sound like your regular Saturday night?
Or maybe you’re more of a lamb kebab fan?
No matter your choice of filling, it’s almost a rite of passage to end up at a kebab shop after a big night out.
But people don’t often stop thinking about their grumbling tummies to spare a thought for the people catering your every need.
A kebab shop worker witnesses everything you would rather forget in the morning.
He sees when you spill the sweet chilli sauce down your white shirt or shamefully profess your love to a stranger.
Mustafa Mohammed has owned Smith Kebabs in Collingwood for more than four years. He has seen it all and has never had a dull moment.
“We get a lot of drunk people in our area, there are a lot of clubs and we have to be patient every day,” he said.
“The challenges are people drink too much and they can’t stand and sometimes can’t even talk.
“They just come in and say ‘I want a kebab’ and you have to try and communicate with them politely to find out what they want.”
“I did not think people would be like this, but when we opened the shop and saw the things going on, people sleeping in front of the shop on the street, I thought ‘oh my God’.”
He said there were times when people would stumble into his shop angry and try to start fights but Mr Mohammed said majority of the customers would use a kebab to share their stories with him.
On weekends, the kebab shop opens at 10.30am and closes at 5am and Mr Mohammed said customers during the day were the complete opposite to those at night.
“When people come in the afternoon they are wearing ties and suits and they read the newspaper,” he said.
“At night time, oh my god, I don’t know what happens they are so drunk and are totally opposite but they do funny things.”
Once a man fell asleep inside Mr Mohammed’s shop and after more than two hours, the police had to be called to wake him up.
Mr Mohammed’s story and the antics in his shop will be revealed on a new miniseries on SBS called Kebab Kings.